In One Word: Church

Tears streamed down my face and my body shook. I thought I was past all this. When was the last time I had one of these reactions? I didn't even realize I had trauma in this area to react to. Okay, I knew something was there, but I had never faced those feelings full-on before. What was the cause of this emotional turmoil? In one word: Church.

I haven't had a real church family in a while now. I've been crying out to God about this, begging Him to give me community, a Christian fellowship, but He didn't answer my prayers. I tried small group after Bible study after book study and they kept falling through or not fitting quite right. Finally, when I started feeling settled in a church and in a small group, I knew it was only temporary because I would be moving to Metro Detroit and have to start all over again.

Now that I'm in Metro Detroit for ministry, my first priority is on finding a church family to plug into. But that's the trigger point. Coincidentally, (as God often does), the topic of this week's discussion board for my counseling class is the role the local church plays in soul care. In responding to my classmate's question "How has your church family helped care for you?" I started crying. I haven't had a church family to care for me through all my recent ups and downs and it hurts.

My original plan was to visit several different churches before deciding. My team leader’s church is ready to welcome me in with open arms, but I wanted to see if there was another church that would fit my needs so we could be more spread out for the sake of the ministry. I'm car shopping and house hunting though, two other big decisions. Do I really need to drag out looking for a church as well? Do I need to look elsewhere? Do I delay any further this need for a church family by looking at what else is in the area? 

Based on my strong reaction to the trigger this morning and the fact that it took me well over an hour to calm down and stop shaking, I feel like I have my answer to those questions. However, I don't base major life decisions on feelings alone. I want God to be a part of this process. 

In anticipation of my move to Metro Detroit, my biggest prayer request was this church question. I put this request in the newsletter I sent out shortly after I arrived last week. Just yesterday I prayed that God would give me peace about which church to join. Little did I know I would have a crisis before the peace. In the midst of my tears and turmoil this morning I pulled up the website for my team leader's church. The phrase in bold that greeted my eyes was "A multi-cultural, multi-generational, gospel-centered church." Those were the exact things I told my friends yesterday I was looking for in a church. 

My team leader's wife "happened" to be at church this morning for Bible study. I messaged her and asked her to stop by afterward. When she did, I briefly explained where my thoughts were and asked her what she thought. I had a ministry-related question, which she answered. Based on our conversation, the Lord's leading, and the subsequent peace I now have, I think I will stick with this church unless God clearly calls me elsewhere.

The church outside my apartment window

The great thing is, my team leader's church is the one letting me stay in their mission housing on the church property for two months while I look for rentals with a friend. I literally can just walk out my door and into the church building for services. Even once I move to the neighborhood my friend and I are looking into, it will only be a 15-minute drive. Praise God for His leading and guiding and for this answer to prayer.

Update: several days after making the decision to stay at this church, the pastor announced the church would be hiring a worship leader from Brazil. The family speaks Portuguese, something I thought I would have to give up when I decided to move to Detroit. What a confirmation from God that He sees and cares about my little desires, like not wanting to lose my Portuguese, by sending me a Brazilian family to speak Portuguese with!