Wait, What Kind of Relationship is This?!

January 19 - Part 2

Wait, was I actually in a relationship? For years, I had been asking God for a husband. In fact, when I turned 18, I said, "Okay, God, I'm old enough." But year after year, I waited. Sometimes patiently, sometimes satisfied with the life around me, but some days lacking contentment, not even knowing what it felt like to be in an official relationship. After leaving Geraldo in the church parking lot, I drove to the refugee home I had promised to visit, but I barely focused. I couldn't believe I was in a relationship.

As soon as I got back in my car after the refugee visit, I called my friend Sarah. "Are you home?" I asked her. I needed to rehash everything with her to verify whether it was real or not. What if I had misunderstood what Geraldo had said? He hadn't said anything about a relationship, or dating, or called me his girlfriend, or what was next, or when we would see each other again.

"Yes, I'm home," Sarah replied, "come over and tell me everything!"

As I pulled into Sarah's driveway, though, I saw a text from Geraldo: "Thank you, Rachel, for accepting my request so together we can start something new in our relationship!!" Well, that confirmed it. Apparently, I was, in fact, in a relationship. I went in to tell Sarah the good news, "That's so exciting!" she said, wanting the full scoop. Unfortunately for her, another text came in from Geraldo.

"What time are you thinking to get done with your visit? Because I would love to go for a cup of tea with you," the text said.

I replied that I was finished, could meet him soon, and quickly wrapped up my time with Sarah, who was thankfully very understanding (God has blessed me with amazing friends!).

At the coffee shop, Geraldo found a nice, quiet spot near the back, making sure I had the loveseat with my back to the wall, where I would be the most comfortable, and sat down across from me. Then immediately changed his mind and came to sit next to me on the loveseat.

"Rachel, I don't consider you my girlfriend..." he started.

What!? My brain said. What does he mean he doesn't consider me his girlfriend!? Hadn't he said we were in a relationship? What else would I be to him?

"... because I consider you my future wife," he finished saying. 

"Hold up!" I blurted out in shock, "You'd have to ask me first, and I'd have to say yes!"

He readily admitted to that, then clarified his meaning. He viewed it as a serious relationship, not dating around for the fun of it, but with the hope and intention of it leading to marriage.

"Yes, of course," I said. "Dating isn't for the fun of it. Marriage would be the goal, as long as everything goes well."
But wow, I thought, what a way to start. God, when I said I didn't want a long, drawn-out, ambiguous thing, I didn't imagine springing from 0 to 80 in a matter of hours.

God just smiled at me.

Geraldo and I talked about several things, then out of nowhere, he looked at me intently and said, "You know we have to wait for marriage, right?" 

I paused for a second before hesitantly saying, "Yeeees." I thought I knew what he meant, but I wasn't sure why he was bringing it up right then.

"You know what I'm talking about, right?" he asked.

"Yeeees," I said again hesitantly. Were we having the talk about saving sex for marriage on the first day of our relationship, in a coffee shop? If so, I was thankful to know it was important to him, just surprised.

"Do you agree?" he asked.

"Of course!" I said emphatically this time. "It's what the Bible says!" He looked relieved to hear me say so.

From that day, I've been extremely thankful that God gave me a man so committed to our sexual purity that I've never had to worry about it. I feel so utterly and completely safe around him, more than I would have thought possible in a short amount of time. Sure, the temptation has grown throughout our relationship, but we both desire to honor God above all else, so even though 30 years has been a long time to wait, by God's grace, I can wait a little bit longer. 

The conversation went around several different topics, getting to know each other better, but I started to feel a bit dizzy. I hadn't eaten supper, and it was getting late. Geraldo immediately noticed the change in my eyes.

"Are you okay?" he asked me.

"No," I said, putting my hand to my head. "I think I need to eat something."

"Okay, what restaurants are nearby?" he asked, pulling out his phone.

I could barely think clearly, I needed food in my stomach asap, not looking up restaurant options. Plus, it was too late at night for my stomach to handle a full meal.

"I have an emergency granola bar in my car," I said. "Just help me get there and I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" he asked. I nodded faintly in reply. He escorted me to my car, then crouched down next to me as I nibbled on the granola bar, concern written all over his face, apparently praying in his heart for me.

"I'll be fine," I reassured him, "just give me a minute."

After I felt strong enough to drive myself home to get some rest, I started to say goodbye.

"Give me your hand," he said.

I placed my hand in his and saw such a look of delight and wonder on his face that it sent the butterflies in my stomach twirling. I had never been the object of such a look. I don't think I've even seen such a beautiful look on a man's face before. His love for me is so great, and pure, and wonderful that it makes me marvel to think that God, who is love, loves me with an even greater love than the love Geraldo holds for me. But don't worry, our story is not all sappy and lovey-dovey. We've already had some ups and downs and misunderstandings. More of that to come in future blogs.