You Thought I had Children!?

I sat down at the high-top table in a Greek diner to eat lunch with Geraldo. It was only a few weeks into our relationship. Looking across at him, I still couldn't believe I was in a relationship with him.

"Why now?" I suddenly asked him between bites of food. "If you liked me from your first day in Small Group months ago and started learning more about me, what made you finally decide now was the time to say something?"

"I thought you had kids," he said.

"You what?!" I said, nearly choking on my food. 

"I thought you had kids," he repeated, "and I was trying to figure out what had happened to your husband. Had he died or had you gotten divorced?"

I stared at him in disbelief. "What in the world made you think I had kids!?" I finally asked him.

"Do you remember the first time I came to help out at Conversation Cafe?" he asked. I nodded yes. "You were sitting at a table with some kids, playing games with them. One of them said, 'Mommy, I want ____' and you said, 'You can wait,' so I assumed they were your kids."

I cocked my head, thinking through that night. Yes, that had happened. I was entertaining my team leader's kids while their mom made coffee for the night. When she walked past, her daughter tried asking her something, but since I knew she was busy, I told the girl she could wait. I could see from Geraldo's perspective how that comment had come across.

"But," I started to say slowly, "You never saw me with kids again. I never talked about them in Small Group. When I hosted Friendsgiving in November, I was clearly just living with a roommate, no kids in the picture. What took you so long to figure out I didn't have kids?" 

He shrugged his shoulders. "It didn't matter to me if you had kids or not. I was trying to figure out what had happened to your husband. If he had died, I would have married you anyway, kids or not. But if you were divorced, I would have forced myself to walk away."

I slowly nodded, trying to understand. I agreed with him about divorce, that what God has brought together, let no one separate (except on Biblical grounds). But I was still trying to process the fact that he had thought for months that I had kids.

"So how did you finally figure it out?" I asked.

"I had to ask someone from Small Group, in a roundabout way," he said, "I didn't want anyone to know I liked you until I figured it out. As soon as I knew you were single, I asked you out for coffee. Then you shared your blog with me, and I saw a deeper glimpse into your heart, and I didn't want to wait anymore."

Laughing together about him erroneously thinking I had children

We had a good, long laugh about his misunderstanding while we finished eating our Greek food. But the conversation didn't fully hit me until later. He would have married me kids or no kids. While we've had our ups and downs, miscommunications, and the ocassional argument, his love for me and commitment to God has always been evident.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Beginning

Image
"Rachel, there was a new guy at Small Group last night!" Lydia told me the first week of October. "You should meet him!" "We'll see," I said with a shrug. I had given up on guys at that point. I had liked a guy months before who had just played with my heart. I had tried online dating but quit after two months. I decided that if God wanted me married, He'd have to throw someone in my lap. I wasn't going out of my way or holding out any wishful thinking anymore. I'd stay focused on ministry for the time being.  When I met Geraldo at Small Group the next week, I didn't pay much attention. He seemed like a nice enough addition to our Bible study group, solid in his faith in a lot of ways, but he said one thing I disagreed with about the prosperity gospel and Benny Hinn, so I wrote him off and carried on with life. Three months passed. Occasionally, Lydia would tease me about him, but I always told her I wasn't interested in him because...
Read more

Wait, What Kind of Relationship is This?!

Image
January 19 - Part 2 Wait, was I actually in a relationship? For years, I had been asking God for a husband. In fact, when I turned 18, I said, "Okay, God, I'm old enough." But year after year, I waited. Sometimes patiently, sometimes satisfied with the life around me, but some days lacking contentment, not even knowing what it felt like to be in an official relationship.  After leaving Geraldo in the church parking lot,  I drove to the refugee home I had promised to visit, but I barely focused.   I couldn't believe I was in a relationship. As soon as I got back in my car after the refugee visit, I called my friend Sarah. "Are you home?" I asked her. I needed to rehash everything with her to verify whether it was real or not. What if I had misunderstood what Geraldo had said? He hadn't said anything about a relationship, or dating, or called me his girlfriend, or what was next, or when we would see each other again. "Yes, I'm home," Sarah re...
Read more

The Day Everything Changed

Image
January 19 - Part 1 When I woke up the next morning after seeing Geraldo for the second time at the coffee shop, I continued with life as normal. It was Sunday, so I went to the 9:30 service at my church, as always. I sat in the same spot, as always. I saw Geraldo talking to someone in the foyer, but I made my way to my Sunday school class (Catalyst), as always. I was early to Catalyst, so I picked a seat between two girls to talk with them before the class started. Suddenly, my phone rang. It was Geraldo. I almost didn't answer my phone. I didn't want to. I don't know what compelled me to do it, but I answered. "Where are you?" he asked.  "In Catalyst," I replied. "Is that the class that guy invited me to?" "Yes," "I don't know where that is," he said, but I could hear it in his voice. He wanted to come, he wanted to see me, but he didn't know where the classroom was. I closed my eyes and sighed, "It's okay...
Read more